Fanboy Orgasm: I Don't Know Who The Eff Scott Pilgrim Is, But I Will See This Movie!

How hot does this shit look? Hotter than our apartment’s actual temperature and we live on the third floor and it’s been fiery out lately and I’m ready to leap to my death to escape this fucking inferno. Hopefully I land in a movie theatre showing this wondernment. For some reason, this movie reminds me of my ex-roommate Quigley. Like, I feel like he wrote it or vomited it up or something. Anyway, I am a comics geek yet, I am ashamed to say I have never read this bit. And the movie…it’s by the guy who did the AWESOME Don’t! fake trailer in the middle of Grindhouse! Ok, he did Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, too. But if I start writing about Simon Pegg and Nick Frost together, I get an irritating boner that knocks my Netbook off my lap and to the floor. Anyway, after the link I list some random bullshit that struck me about the trailer and made me salivate over this movie more than I salivated over Iron Man 2‘s trailer. And spicy crispy tuna rolls. I really salivate over those.

Scott, what's your comic like? I have no idea..and that's a good thing!

1. I have never read this comic, which means I will have no fanboy expectations as to whether Jill would ever say anything like that, or that’s not even his blaster, or fucking Dread  Barlock doesn’t even show up until the THIRD mini-series! If you’ve been to a comic shop, you know the score. Yes, I’ve done it but only amongst friends. Fanboys suck.

2. That girl with the glasses and what I think are braces in the trailer who pointedly tells Michael Cera that the girl in question is out of his league. She is forthright, mingy, and amazing. Ponytail.

3. All the comicbooky video gamey stuff with the colors and how he grabs A ONE UP ICON to “GET A LIFE”. Oh, I think my underpants are suddenly creamy.

4. Chris Evans. It’s not that I even like Chris Evans that much. It’s just that Chris Evans. Ya know?

5. Michael Cera seems like he’s in awesome mode (meaning Juno-mode) as opposed to unawesome mode (meaning anything in which he has starred alongside Jack Black). Fuck you Jack Black. Just show off the pudgy ass and keep your mouth shut when you have a good haircut. That’s all we’ll be needing from you.

6. The girl in question seems “eh” about things, which I like, and she has multi-colored hair and once lapped some ‘gine. It’s good to present people that just get it on with the same sex and it’s not a biggun’, you knows?

7. Rory Culkin looks like he’s stayed up all night helping Macauley through tina withdrawal, after which he fell down a ravine. I like it.

8. Cera describing the girl in question by showing a quick doodle on a piece of paper.

Jewfro lesbian from Milk (is "Jewfro" accepted nowadays? I think I'm taking a gamble with this one...)

9. I think the girl drummer in the band who mimes blowing her head off looks like the Jewfro lesbian from Milk and if that’s the same actress, yay. Her tears at the end during the candlelight march caused MY tears. If so, her agent is one skilled motherfucker. (God, I am so good at spotting these things.)

10. I didn’t see Up in the Air (shut the fuck up, Oscar dogs), but Anna Kendrick‘s disgusted “WHAT?” during the trailer makes me want to see it. Whereas previously my love for Vera Farmiga was cock-blocked by my distaste for Clooney playing Clooney meaning I couldn’t watch it.  Plus, isn’t their job firing people and I just got fired (not for performance issues!) and who wants to be reminded about that? I should just see it and stop judging.

I know this list isn’t even a blog entry. It’s just quick ticking down of every part of the trailer I loved and I look like a knob. Anyway, this movie seems so rad. I wish I was at it right now. And yes, it’s the dude who gave us this (Edgar Wright):

He might need his own theme park or something.

Tags: Allison Pill, Anna Kendrick, Chris Evans, Edgar Wright, George Clooney, Jack Black, Michael Cera, Movies, Simon Pegg, Vera Farmiga